Larry: A "Masters" of disguise!

Larry prepares to jump.

This story does not involved racing do or dare. There are no fancy tacking maneuvers, brave tactical decisions, or heavy weather jibes. However, it did happen on my sailboat and it is a true story.

Let me take you back a few years to a graduation party my wife threw for me at our yacht club the summer I received my Master's degree. My wife had given me the choice of walking across the stage to get my diploma, or having a party with our friends at the yacht club. I chose the yacht club party. We had kegged beer, wine, good barbeque, and lots of sailing buddies to help celebrate my accomplishment. The highlight of the party was going to be a nighttime raft-up in the middle of the lake with all the boats tied together as I donned my cap and gown and made a stately and dignified back flip off the bow pulpit of my boat to signify my entrance into the world of more educated and grown up folk. That is not quite what happened...

The party began at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Now, you can imagine that having just completed two years of grueling academic work, I was in a celebrating mood, and with all the kegged beer sitting around, I quite naturally had more than my share. It was my party after all. By the time darkness overcame us and it was time for the raft-up and baptism into my adult life, I was quite sloshed to say the least. My wife was to bring my cap and gown aboard the boat, and twelve boats containing 87 besotted sailors sailed out to the middle of the lake and proceeded to tie the boats together.

Needs no caption!

After many toasts to my good health, the crowd began clamoring for my speech and cap and gown back flip I stood up to go to the bow pulpit of my boat wearing my t-shirt, shorts, and my cat-in-the-hat hat. I took a minute to compose myself and decide what I would say. My speech began by thanking all who were in attendance for making my day such a memorable one, and then I rambled on about how this was much more fun than walking across the stage to receive my diploma from the university president. I asked my wife to help me don my cap and gown only to find that she had tipsily left them on shore. Now I was in a fix. What should I do? I knew there was a chance that the beer-buzzed sailors would gang up on me and throw me in if I did not deliver the show that they expected to see. Thinking quickly--which was no mean feat in my condition--I added onto my speech by saying that my bow pulpit back flip was to take place in my cap and gown to signify my entrance into adulthood and the serious working world, but because my illustrious wife had forgotten my cap and gown, that I would instead enter the water in what I did not forget to bring: My birthday suit. Without giving my audience a chance to think about what I just said, I rapidly removed my shorts and t-shirt, climbed atop the bow pulpit rail, and wearing nothing but my cat-in-the-hat hat and a smile, I neatly executed a back flip into the water that would have earned me a 10.0 at any Olympics I could compete in. I emerged from the water to a standing ovation, a rousing chorus of "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow," and cameras flashing as pictures were taken of me in all my radiant glory. Needless to say, the party continued on until the wee hours of the morning until all the beer was consumed.

It was a day and night that I will never forget, and neither will my sailing buddies (no matter how hard they try). I highly recommend an occasional bow pulpit back flip to all good sailors everywhere--it will keep you humble.

Larry
Tennessee